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Posts tagged as roseanne barr

Roseanne Says Chuck Lorre Stole Her Joke for 'Two and a Half Men'

Over the last three days, Roseanne Barr has been tweeting up a storm about Two and a Half Men creator stealing a joke from her standup act and using it on the show, in a line delivered by Ashton Kutcher. Barr heard about how Thursday's episode of Men had Kutcher say a line about a 91-year-old woman ("I’d imagine that you’re wet in the places you used to be dry, and dry in the places you used to be wet."), which bears a strong resemblance to a line about menopause she's been using in her act since at least 2006 ("I’m wet where I’m supposed to be dry and [...]

More Roast Clips! More Roast Clips!

Roast of Roseanne Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows

What an odd choice of pre-roll graphics. Are they implying that lightning created the fires? Like God is roasting Roseanne? Or is Roseanne supposed to be in hell? Are we all in hell? Who's in hell, Comedy Central!?  Maybe you can figure out with the other preview clips below.

"Who doesn't love being loved?"

In this month's Interview, Roseanne Barr sat down with Sandra Bernhard for an interview. It's pretty great. I mean: We went to see Hello, Dolly! at the Fisher Theatre in Detroit with Carol Channing, and I was just totally overwhelmed. I was 8 years old and this was the biggest thing that had happened to me. We started driving back to Flint from Detroit and I was crying the entire way home because my parents had not arranged for me to meet her. I would lie in bed at night and have full-blown fantasies about taking my bows on stage on Broadway. It was so embedded in me [...]

Roseanne Sounds Warrior Rallying Cry for Aging Women Everywhere

Holy mackerel. Roseanne's three-page-long ode to menopause is really intense. Aside from being funny and something we ladies should probably all email to our future selves, it makes me feel like everyone connected on this human journey and that being a woman is like riding a giant pirate ship through the Amazon, stopping only to spear fish before forging on ahead through the jungle to take pictures of parrots (I may be thinking of the popular 1994 computer game The Amazon Trail). Here is what she says to fellow menopause-passers:

Ahoy, matey! Hail, hail, all ye who enter here! You have arrived! Congratulations, sister!

You have made [...]

Lifetime Cancels Roseanne's Nuts

Deez nuts, we hardly knew ye. According to Roseanne herself, Lifetime's Roseanne's Nuts has been canceled. "Roseanne's Nuts has been cancelled. thanks everyone for watching!," Barr tweeted last night. Luckily the short-lived show will live on, as both a reminder of how delightful Roseanne is as a late night guest and a helpful guide to how the macadamia nut will save the environment and economy from total collapse. SOMETHING HAS TO, RIGHT?

Roseanne Barr Will Guest Star on One of the Final Episodes of 'The Office'

Failed 2012 presidential candidate Roseanne Barr will be appearing in one of the final episodes of The Office's nine-season run, according to Entertainment Weekly. Barr also recently shot an episode of Portlandia and kicked off a Las Vegas residency with her stand-up act. Last year, she starred in a pilot called Downwardly Mobile, in which she reunited with John Goodman to play a couple living in a trailer park, but NBC opted to not pick up the show. In her episode of The Office, Barr will play a talent agent by the name of Carla Fern who helps Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) to realize his show business dream. Could [...]

Jane Lynch to Handle Roastmaster Duties for Roseanne

I always wonder two things when I hear about an upcoming Comedy Central roast: how mean will it be, and is the roastee really on board for it? As Joan Rivers said in A Piece of Work, "They keep telling you it’s an honor. I'm telling you that if I had invested wisely, I wouldn’t be doing this." The upcoming roast of Roseanne Barr is no different. Is Roseanne really into the idea and thinks it'll be fun, or is this just a cash grab to keep her nut farm afloat? It's hard to say, although the second question got a little complicated with the announcement that [...]

Trade Roundup: Jeff Goldblum, Jesse Bradford, Roseanne Barr

Jeff Goldblum has joined the increasingly fantastic cast of Sarah Silverman's NBC pilot as Silverman's character's ex-boyfriend, whom she probably broke up with because she was sick of hearing his thoughts on how chaos theory means that all her plans will end in dinosaur attacks.

The Jimmy Fallon-produced NBC pilot DILFs by Charlie Grandy has secured a lead in Jesse Bradford, who'll play "a handsome recently divorced lawyer who is confident in everything except parenting his 9-month-old son." Don't you kind of wish this was a laugh-track, family-friendly mid-2000s CBS show so there would be a voice-over going, "Depositions he can handle. But diapers? No way!" [...]

The Strange Fad of Comedian-Based Saturday Morning Cartoons

Maria Bamford has a great bit about how she wants to have a TV sitcom someday called Me, My Mom, and a Monster, in which she, her mother, and a friendly but disgusting monster all live in the same house, where one can presume wackiness would ensue. Had Bamford been an up-and-coming comic in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s (which she wouldn’t have been, because she would not have gotten any club dates in that culture of jokes about airplanes and the myriad difference between New York and Los Angeles), she might have actually gotten the greenlight, and Me, My Mom, and a Monster would have wound up [...]

Is It Ever Not "Too Soon" for 9/11 Jokes?

The Observer examines why some 9/11 jokes rally an audience and others produce total silence. And speaking of controversial humor, did you know that Roseanne Barr once posed for the magazine Heeb while "wearing a Hitler moustache and a swastika and preparing to take a bite of what the caption referred to as 'burnt Jew cookies'"? What?

Bill Hader, Roseanne, Patton Oswalt, and Many, Many More Are Coming to 'Portlandia'

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein have lined up a roster of guest stars for the new season of Portlandia that puts other TV show guest list rosters to shame. EW reports that Season 3 (which debuts January 4th at 10) will feature guest stars like Roseanne Barr, Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, Armisen’s SNL cohorts Bill Hader and Bobby Moynihan, Juliette Lewis, Rose Byrne, George Wendt, British comedy Gods Matt Berry and Matt Lucas, Dinosaur Jr. founder J Mascis, Dirty Projectors, and tennis star Martina Navratilova, plus the return of Kyle MacLachlan, Jeff Goldblum, and Kumail Nanjiani, as well Chloë Sevigny in a recurring role as Fred and Carrie's [...]

Comedy Central to Roast Roseanne

Comedy Central has named Roseanne the next target for Jeff Ross and whoever is trying to be Greg Giraldo this year. The roast will be shot in LA on August 4 and air on August 12 at 10:00p.m. On being roasted, Roseanne commented, " “All I can say is good luck finding anything about me to make fun of… I mean, I've never made a mistake or offended anyone in my life!” It might be tough so here are a few jokes to get the roasters started:

Roseanne for President: The First Hundred Days in Office

Finally going through with her promise/threat from August, Roseanne Barr has filed the paperwork to run for president and says on her Twitter that she doesn't expect to win, but hopes bring attention to the Green Party by running. If she did get elected, here's an incomplete list of what she'd likely focus on in her first 100 days in the Oval Office:

- invest in technology futures for nut manufacture - promote tax subsidies for menopausal women - hire a cabinet led by John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, and Johnny Galecki - write searing, eye-opening essay about sexism on the political campaign trail [...]

Roseanne's Downwardly Mobile Parks At NBC

Bring her all the Beckys! A parade of Beckys in her honor! Roseanne's Downwardly Mobile has a script order in from NBC, where she will join Snoop Dogg, Sarah Silverman, Sean Hayes and Portia de Rossi as the latest big name that will hopefully make some money up in this bitch. Following the cancellation of Lifetime's Roseanne's Nuts, Downwardly is reportedly a multi-cam sitcom featuring Roseanne as the locus of a lively trailer park community. I'm going to go ahead and assume that her husband is dead from the very beginning, just so she can't pull any fast ones over on me.