Mr. Carlson, I assume? Please, come in and have a seat.
Mr. Carlson, although the dictates of modern propriety obligate me to thank you for coming in today, I must assure you that, of the surfeit of emotions your presence has today initiated, gratitude is certainly not among the foremost. Quite the opposite, in fact. You may perhaps be wondering why, then, would I have gone to the considerable trouble of arranging today’s little tete-a-tete, when doing so would be sure to cause me no small degree of aggravation, and would, in fact, cause me to disregard other pursuits of an irrefutably higher necessity and an undeniably greater worth. [...]
Sex is a thing people generally like, like a lot, so videos about said sex tend to get a lot of traffic. Because they're non-stop fountains of clicks, people make a lot of sex-related sketch videos. The problem is most of them are SUPER unfunny. It's not inherently unfunny topic; it's just that it's an arena that attracts the lowest common denominator. The worst of them are like beer commercials but worse and more rapey. The best of them, however, are genuinely very funny. They tap into the absurdity that is a mating ritual not too dissimilar to that of monkeys. And monkeys are funny. Here are 23 that [...]
Jezebel has an interview with the Queens of Comedy that was originally conducted in 2001 and is finally being published in The Lowbrow Reader Reader, and it's nuts. Writer Margeaux Rawsom was supposed to interview the women to try to uncover the "10 Commandments of Sex" and the result is majestic. There are gems like this one from Oscar Winner Mo'Nique:
"You muthafuckin' right. Ass-licking is a commandment. You better lick my ass! And then, if you lick it well enough, I might let you put the head in. Lick my ass! That is a wonderful thing. Lick it! Ooooooh! Let me just say this: If they [...]
Most television sitcoms are obsessed with sex. Typically, there is at least one character that continually brags about his or her sexual conquests. Some well-known lotharios include Barney from How I Met Your Mother — although Ted is getting up there since after six seasons he has still not actually talked about who the mother is — and GOB from Arrested Development, even though many of the women he has “sealed the deal” with have been out of spite for his brother Michael. This doesn’t stop with men though, as female characters have also been use for comedic sexual exploitation like Elaine’s “sponge-worthy” theory on Seinfeld and Samantha from [...]
Todd Barry gave some pretty solid sex advice to Nerve; here's his answer to a question about how to deal with a boyfriend who wants to get a tattoo of your name on his arm: "Just say to him, 'I don't want you to make the same mistake I did,' then lift your shirt to reveal 'TODD BARRY' tattooed in a large font across your belly. When he inevitably says 'I don't remember seeing that tattoo before,' you just respond with 'Of course you don't. That's because you don't listen!'"