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Posts tagged as sex

This Week In Web Videos: 'Fruiting 101'

I'm not one of those people that thinks sex is inherently funny. In fact, I hate those people. Sex, comedically speaking, is easy. It gets a laugh in the most low-brow of rooms, amongst folks who couldn't give a goddamn about the craft but love hearing the word "pussy" repeated ad infinitum. To make sex truly funny, the bar should be set higher. In order for sex jokes to hit they need to be innovative, new, driven by some goal other than shock. Inspired by Auntie Angel's unintentionally hilarious guide to putting a grapefruit on your man's dick, Lily Du and David Craig created a pitch perfect Internet [...]

A Funny Thing: Ophira Eisenberg Scrapes the Bottom of the Sex Barrel

Our story this week: Fresh off bombing her stand up set, Ophira Eisenberg was desperate to turn a bad night into a good one. How to do it? By sleeping with the weird, sad headliner, of course. The guy "who's entire wardrobe came from a t-shirt gun." But how weird and sad can things get, really? Very. Things can get very weird and very sad. Mondays, am I right?

Ophira Eisenberg is a comedian and storyteller who hosts NPR's Ask Me Another. She has a fantastic new book out this week, called Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy. Click on that link to see it on [...]

Sexy Sexy Conan-Related Porn Sex

Remember in the 90s when there were all those signs that said, "Sex! Now that I have your attention, come to my Lollapalooza-inspired popsicle stand" (or whatever they had back then)? Conan O'Brien's new adult site, Conan.XXX, is not like that. It's just some sick shit like the above video of Andy devouring soup or the video below of a woman "sharpening pencils." It's impressive that they got that URL before the Conan the Barbarian porn parody, Conan the Barber of Her End, or the Conan O'Brien porn parody, Conan O'Brien: The Whore For Late Night.

Ricky Gervais and Jon Stewart Talk Panda-Raccoon Sex Fantasies

Ricky Gervais' Daily Show appearance last night starts out with a description of a panda as a "big wobbly spunk bomb," and things only get weirder from there. Until Jon calls him out on miming what's either wide-girth masturbation or human-panda rape, that is. It doesn't really weirder than that. That might be the apex of weirdness for us as a species.

Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else

From The Onion, Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else: "The study revealed that 80 percent of the time, women who declined to answer their phones were, at that very moment, being sexually pleasured by a man superior to the caller in terms of looks, genital endowment, and stamina. Researchers also found that a majority of women picked up the phone, examined the caller ID, and told their male lover 'It's nobody' before continuing with sexual intercourse."

An Imagined Monologue By the Disappointed Editor of 'Penthouse Forum,' by Tim Eberle

Mr. Carlson, I assume? Please, come in and have a seat.

Mr. Carlson, although the dictates of modern propriety obligate me to thank you for coming in today, I must assure you that, of the surfeit of emotions your presence has today initiated, gratitude is certainly not among the foremost. Quite the opposite, in fact. You may perhaps be wondering why, then, would I have gone to the considerable trouble of arranging today’s little tete-a-tete, when doing so would be sure to cause me no small degree of aggravation, and would, in fact, cause me to disregard other pursuits of an irrefutably higher necessity and an undeniably greater worth. [...]

23 Actually Funny Web Videos About Sex, Boobs, Dicks, Etc.

Sex is a thing people generally like, like a lot, so videos about said sex tend to get a lot of traffic. Because they're non-stop fountains of clicks, people make a lot of sex-related sketch videos. The problem is most of them are SUPER unfunny. It's not inherently unfunny topic; it's just that it's an arena that attracts the lowest common denominator. The worst of them are like beer commercials but worse and more rapey. The best of them, however, are genuinely very funny. They tap into the absurdity that is a mating ritual not too dissimilar to that of monkeys. And monkeys are funny. Here are 23 that [...]

Read this Interview with the Queens of Comedy and then Take a Shower

Jezebel has an interview with the Queens of Comedy that was originally conducted in 2001 and is finally being published in The Lowbrow Reader Reader, and it's nuts. Writer Margeaux Rawsom was supposed to interview the women to try to uncover the "10 Commandments of Sex" and the result is majestic. There are gems like this one from Oscar Winner Mo'Nique:

"You muthafuckin' right. Ass-licking is a commandment. You better lick my ass! And then, if you lick it well enough, I might let you put the head in. Lick my ass! That is a wonderful thing. Lick it! Ooooooh! Let me just say this: If they [...]

The Sexual Proclivities of Friends

Most television sitcoms are obsessed with sex. Typically, there is at least one character that continually brags about his or her sexual conquests. Some well-known lotharios include Barney from How I Met Your Mother — although Ted is getting up there since after six seasons he has still not actually talked about who the mother is — and GOB from Arrested Development, even though many of the women he has “sealed the deal” with have been out of spite for his brother Michael. This doesn’t stop with men though, as female characters have also been use for comedic sexual exploitation like Elaine’s “sponge-worthy” theory on Seinfeld and Samantha from [...]

Todd Barry Gives You Sex Advice

Todd Barry gave some pretty solid sex advice to Nerve; here's his answer to a question about how to deal with a boyfriend who wants to get a tattoo of your name on his arm: "Just say to him, 'I don't want you to make the same mistake I did,' then lift your shirt to reveal 'TODD BARRY' tattooed in a large font across your belly. When he inevitably says 'I don't remember seeing that tattoo before,' you just respond with 'Of course you don't. That's because you don't listen!'"

Read a Letter 19-Year-Old Lena Dunham Sent to 'Time Out New York's Sex Columnist

Girls star/creator Lena Dunham posted some screenshots on Instagram today of a letter she wrote to Time Out New York's sex advice columnist Jamie Buffalino in 2005 when she was 19-years-old. Dunham's caption on the pictures reads, "#tbt to that time I wrote a letter to Jamie Buffalino, the sexpert in Time Out NY and he ANSWERED. Please note "I have a reasonable amount of sexual experience…" #2005 #virgin." Check out the full letter and the response below:

Judd Apatow Thinks You're All a Bunch of Prudes

Judd Apatow talked to The Hollywood Reporter about Girls, and he had this to say about the infamously explicit and awkward sex scenes in the show: I talked a lot about that with Lena before the show aired. She's so comfortable with the sex stuff, but I didn't want her to be blindsided by the fact that most people aren't. But she and I both agree people are way too prudish. It's ridiculous that at this stage of the human journey, someone with their top off or pants off is going to give someone a heart attack. Also, I think people feel bad about themselves when everyone they [...]

Well, I Know What Nightmare I'll Be Having Tonight

Voila! It's been 13 years, but that apple pie finally enacted its disgusting, horrifying revenge on Jason Biggs. Thank you, American Reunion and Funny or Die, for giving all of us pastry-themed night terrors that will surely endure for 13 more years to come. At which point we'll recover just in time to watch American Nursing Home in theaters.

Paul Scheer Reads a Mildly Upsetting Excerpt from Jim Belushi's Book

Would you like to hear Paul Scheer read an excerpt from Jim Belushi's book Real Men that gives some explicit and questionable sex advice? Of course you do.