Our story this week: Fresh off bombing her stand up set, Ophira Eisenberg was desperate to turn a bad night into a good one. How to do it? By sleeping with the weird, sad headliner, of course. The guy "who's entire wardrobe came from a t-shirt gun." But how weird and sad can things get, really? Very. Things can get very weird and very sad. Mondays, am I right?
Ophira Eisenberg is a comedian and storyteller who hosts NPR's Ask Me Another. She has a fantastic new book out this week, called Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy. Click on that link to see it on [...]
Remember in the 90s when there were all those signs that said, "Sex! Now that I have your attention, come to my Lollapalooza-inspired popsicle stand" (or whatever they had back then)? Conan O'Brien's new adult site, Conan.XXX, is not like that. It's just some sick shit like the above video of Andy devouring soup or the video below of a woman "sharpening pencils." It's impressive that they got that URL before the Conan the Barbarian porn parody, Conan the Barber of Her End, or the Conan O'Brien porn parody, Conan O'Brien: The Whore For Late Night.
Ricky Gervais' Daily Show appearance last night starts out with a description of a panda as a "big wobbly spunk bomb," and things only get weirder from there. Until Jon calls him out on miming what's either wide-girth masturbation or human-panda rape, that is. It doesn't really weirder than that. That might be the apex of weirdness for us as a species.
From The Onion, Study: Women Always Answer Their Phones Unless They're Having Great Sex With Someone Else: "The study revealed that 80 percent of the time, women who declined to answer their phones were, at that very moment, being sexually pleasured by a man superior to the caller in terms of looks, genital endowment, and stamina. Researchers also found that a majority of women picked up the phone, examined the caller ID, and told their male lover 'It's nobody' before continuing with sexual intercourse."
Reggie Watts on when to turn off the comedian within: "Being comedic in the bedroom definitely has its place, but, really, sex is a time for a great connection with someone. And sometimes humor naturally comes out of it. But, I try not to be in that mindset when I’m in the bedroom, because it’s time for a great experience. Even if it’s just a one-off thing, I try to be present for it. Generally, it’s not smart to actively try to create comedy while making love. "