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Posts tagged as sports

journalism

Aasif Mandvi Dives Deep Into the NCAA for 'The Daily Show'

by | April 12th, 2013

Last night, Daily Show corresponent Aasif Mandvi filed this report on the NCAA, which seems like quite an upstanding organization.

The Humor Section

Put Me in the Game, by Gilbert Shi

by | February 4th, 2013

Coach! Time’s running out. You gotta put me in the game, coach. I’m not exactly sure what sport we’re playing here, but coach, please, put me in the game.

Are we playing basketball? I think this is basketball. I’ve got a good basketball-y feeling about this. We’re definitely playing some b-ball here. Right? Listen coach, let me play in the b-ball competition. Trust me, I won’t let you down. If we’re on defense, I’ll block the shot or punt the ball or whatever. That is, if we are on defense. I’m not entirely clear on that. If we happen to be on offense, I can make the three-pointer that [...]

sports

Stephen Colbert to Win All the Olympic Medals

by | July 31st, 2012

The Colbert Report Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

You remember the great Olympic story of the man so good at riding a fancy horse fancily that not only did he win a gold medal for fancy horse walking but also other medalist started give him their medals – Ryan Lochte was like, "Here's my medal and the Lochtey to my heart" – until soon this man had all the medals? Of course you don't remember, it's happening right this second to Stephen Colbert and [...]

sports

If Only Joel McHale and Rob Riggle's ESPY Handshake Could Last Forever

by | July 12th, 2012

Did this handshake really need to end so soon? Couldn't they have waited a little longer to announce what was the "Best Third Quarter Right-Handed Dunk By A Lefty In A California-Located NCAA Division II Basketball Game In Which The Winning Team Went On To Win By 8, 13, or 14 Points" or whatever gets awarded at the ESPYs? Below is Rob Riggle's monologue, which if you're unfamiliar with sports will just seem like mumbo jumbo mixed with jokes about Cleveland and eyebrows.

Podcasts

Left Handed Radio: 'Hail Hail, Sophia, the Goddess of Reason'

by | April 10th, 2012

Left Handed Radio takes the stage once again to reflect on alienation, desperation, and all manner of crushed dreams.

Sketches from this episode include: Clearfield Sports Network, Malvo runs into Doug, there's something living inside of Brenda, Bobby "Boris" Pickett works on follow-ups to Monster Mash, "Of Mice and Apartments," Bridgid Ryan performs, the official sponsors of the LHR Concert Series, a sit-in against segregation in a diner, the Age of Reason begins, Matt goes running, and Jim doesn't know anyone at the party and drinks too much.

This month's show was written and performed by Adam Bozarth, Dan Chamberlain, Matt Little, Taylor Moore, and Anna Rubanova with special [...]

The Humor Section

Excerpts From a Kiss Cam Standard Operating Procedures Manual, by Greg Castle

by | April 8th, 2013

Congratulations on your promotion to KISS CAM DIRECTOR. You are part of a long tradition of sporting event Jumbotron distractions. The following guidelines will help you lead your Kiss Cam team to crowd-pleasing, lip-locking victory!

Participation. Rowdy cheers for kissing couples and boos for couples who refuse to kiss are desired spectator responses. If the overall reaction is disapproving silence, gasps of discomfort, or intense grunting, something is wrong.

If a couple refuses to kiss, leave them and come back to them. If they still refuse, keep them in focus until they have been legitimately chastised by the crowd. Gain the crowd’s ire, let the camera remind everyone who [...]

Good Sports

Rob Riggle Set to Make Football Jokes as Fox's NFL Pregame Comic Relief

by | August 27th, 2012

Finally a reason to watch sports (J. Kidding we love watching people throw around the ol' skinned pig): next season, Rob Riggle will do funny things during Fox's Sunday pregame coverage. It was a role previously held by Frank Caliendo doing impersonations of John Madden and the like. Rob isn't so sure what he's going to do with the postion. He told USAToday: "[impressions] aren't in my wheelhouse. So what is my wheelhouse? We'll discover that along the way." Maybe each week he can demonstrate new endzone dance handshakes like this:

sports

Let Dave Hill Explain Olympic Sports to You

by | July 30th, 2012

The Olympics are confusing. Some events take place on courts, some in pools, some with rifles. Luckily, Dave Hill is working with BBC America to explain how sports work to the common man. Like how the goal of the floor exercise is ungracefully fall on your face. Below, watch Dave explain boxing and get punched a lot. You can watch him explain other  sports here.

Sports Talk

Michael Schur Says Goodbye to Kevin Youklis's Play-Doh Face

by | June 26th, 2012

"Kevin Youkilis is one of the most oddly shaped human beings in professional athletics. His torso is giant and cylindrical — he looks like a cartoon poor person wearing a barrel. He is completely bald – like, aggressively bald, like he hates hair — except for a fiery red goatee bush that tumbles out of his face like Play-Doh from a fun factory. When he hits, he stands with his feet so close together the ump could tip him over with one quick index-finger jab to the sternum — an action that must have been tempting for many umps over the years…" - Parks & Rec showrunner Michael Schur hilariously says [...]

Ads

I Would Happily Watch Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson Bicker All Day Long

by | April 5th, 2012

New Era caps have struck upon a truly beautiful way to advertise their hats: get two beloved stars of NBC sitcoms and have them argue about their favorite baseball teams. First there was the inspired series of spots featuring Yankees fan Alec Baldwin and Red Sox fan John Krasinski, and now we've got Cubs fan Nick Offerman and White Sox fan Craig Robinson arguing over which Chicago team truly is king. Look, I don't wear hats, but I'm willing to start if they promise to keep making these forever and ever and ever.

The Humor Section

"Football Monday's Comin' to Your Town on Monday Night," My Attempt at a New Monday Night Football Song, by Cullen Crawford

by | March 4th, 2013

Dear Sirs or Madames at ESPN,

With the NFL season over I think it may be time to reconsider your approach to branding Monday Night Football. Simply put, America misses the dancing and singing Guitarman who announces the things that will happen in the upcoming game while wearing sunglasses. I understand your probable reticence, as your last Guitarman was a hateful monster.  Which is why I’m writing you to offer my service as America’s new Monday Night Football Song and Dance Man. I assure you I hate no one but myself and am very good at predicting the happenings of a typical Monday Night Football evening. Please find my [...]

The Onion

Olympic Gymnasts Are Weird, Broken People

by | August 10th, 2012

"'This trip has been incredible, but really I'm already starting to miss home and being a weird kid who doesn’t have any friends,' said the 16-year-old gymnast, who told reporters her teammates have been wonderful, but conceded she’s more accustomed to the incredibly bizarre existence of never talking to anybody aside from her coach. 'I didn't think I would miss it so much, but I guess I'm just like anybody else my age who practices gymnastics more than eight hours a day, every single day of the year.'" — The Onion's Gabby Douglas Excited To Return To Her Abnormal, Totally Fucked-Up Life is just about perfect.

sports

Take Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis Out to the Ballgame

by | July 19th, 2012

I think some of those fun facts were fake but I'm sure they were fun. Are they doing this everywhere? Are they going from town to town to town, riding the rails, making up things about baseball players as a campaign for The Campaign? It's a bit old school (Old School!) but it would totally work because their movie is about rival baseball players. What's that? Oh, it's about rival political campaigns. Zach and Will, stop throwing pitches and eating pizza (watch below) and start getting ready to appear on Meet the Press.

sports

Tracy Morgan and Will Arnett Make Hockey Jokes

by | June 21st, 2012

The 2012 NHL Awards were last night. I know what you're thinking: "Oh no, I missed the 2012 NHL Awards and the 2011 NHL Awards and the 2010 NHL Awards and the 2009, 2008, 2007— Wait, how old are the NHL awards? What is the NHL? Hock-what? Hock-ey? Is that one where they hit a flat ball with a stick? Puck? Puck you, buddy." As you can see above, Tracy Morgan does a great job pretending to know what hockey is and doing his Tracy Morgan thing. Below watch all the clips of Will Arnett impersonating Brendan Shanahan. Who's Brendan Shanahan? No idea but it's funny to watch Will [...]

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