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Posts tagged as teenagers

Nancy Drew and the Case of the Cooperstown Slut, by Liz Arcury

“Fifteen dollars? Come on, Nance, there are dozens of other stores in the mall that sell candles. Don’t settle on this one just yet,” Bess Marvin assured Nancy Drew, as they, along with George Fayne, Bess’s cousin, strolled through the River Heights Mall. The three teenage friends were out for a shopping day to relieve some stress. Their academic and work lives were fine, but Nancy insisted that they take a day to decompress after a run-in with that outright whore from Cooperstown at Ned Nickerson’s party last Friday night.

The girl, Carmen, was around their age and also a total slut. Nancy had learned from past cases to [...]

Hannibal Buress Gives Solid Advice to Teenage Girls

Hannibal Buress gave some advice to teenage girls on Rookie Magazine, and it is pretty great advice for everyone. "If you wanna say something, go say it. If it sounds stupid, so what? It doesn't matter. We all die one day." Yep. He is the best. Also, he just figured out how to use the effects on his computer, so for most of the video he looks like the thing from The Thing mid-transformation.

P.S. "Okay, first off, from your use of the word butthole I'm gonna guess that you're a tween."

It's Like, What Do I Do With This Kid? by Alex Schmidt

Hello! Earth to Kylie! This is your uncle speaking. He knows he's not Justin Bieber or the "Gangnam Style" guy, but he'd like to think he's at least a little "rad."

Your mom left you with me for the day, and this isn't "Uncool-Adult Jail." We can do whatever we want! Come on, you wanna have something to eat? Or something to drink? Or kick around these doll heads?

If it'll get you to make a peep you can go to town on these doll heads.

Hey I get it, okay? When I was 13, all I wanted to do was chase babes, and feather my hair, and listen [...]

The Complete Guide to Everything: Moving (Part 1)

Tom forgets the intro, we talk sweaters, cautious optimism for Girl Meets World, and an explanation of how terrible Tim and Tom were as teenagers before getting the main topic at hand: Moving. Tim and Tom discuss movers constantly dealing with the most stressed out people in the world, Tom's fascination with negative Yelp reviews for movers, movers nowadays all being skinny guys, Tim being duped into helping his movers move, counting money, and a barking dog problem is solved.