Marvel, Why Haven’t You Financed My Insect-Hero Film ‘The Fantastic Franz Kafka’s Cockroach-Man’? by Dan Caprera

An Excerpt from ‘Hey, U Up? (For a Serious Relationship): How to Turn Your Booty Call into Your Emergency Contact,’ by Emily Axford and Brian Murphy

I’ll Be Holding a Red Rose, by Lucas Gardner

An Excerpt from ‘TITLE 13,’ by Michael A. Ferro

A Celebrity Profile That’s Only Descriptions of What They Were Wearing, If That’s Really All You Want, You Animals, by Jeff Wucher

So I Prefer a More Form-Fitting, European Cut on My Tailored Outerwear. What’s The Big Deal? by Coleman Larkin

You Hit the Paywall, You Stupid F***ing Idiot, by Brian Agler

Inky’s Letter, by Barbara Holm

How to Stay Friends Once Your Girlfriends Settle Down with Their Pet Rocks, by Ginny Hogan

Wonka, Inc. Quarterly Report, by Patrick Muncie