Splitsider

 
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Buying Michael Jackson 20 Cases of Water and All the Best Parts from Former 'Simpsons' Writer Jay Kogen's AMA

Jay Kogen was one of the OG Simpsons writers. He, with his writing partner Wallace Wolodarsky, wrote such classic episodes as "Bart the Daredevil" and "Last Exit to Springfield." He did an AMA yesterday to quench our undying desire for more Simpsons info. Here are the best parts:

On Phil Hartman:

Phil was a pal of mine from the Groundlings improv group in L.A. I saw him the night before he died. It was a tragedy. Horrible. Phil's voice is pretty distinctive. Hard to replace. Easy to make new characters so, we just let it go. (I created Lionel Hutz)

On what he thinks of Family Guy:

It's amazingly funny. Not as warm and real but very funny. Sometimes it's mean for no reason but I do laugh alot when I watch… Family Guy is great. The folks at the Simpsons think it's a ripoff of our show but it's not. It's a ripoff of many things but mostly it's very funny and different from our show. I have watched many episodes. Aside from being too mean, it's very dark and funny.

READ MORE

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Nikki Glaser Told Stand-Up Jokes on 'Conan'


I understand your complaint about Bank of America's e-mails, but, hey, at least they're e-mailing you. Bank of America actually is my bank and I can't even get them to return my phone calls. What does a guy need to do in here to get a G.D. response from a bank? Regardless, kudos to Splitsider's own Nikki Glaser for killing it on Conan and being so friendly with Bank of America.

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Tiny Man/Ninja Joseph Gordon-Levitt Promos 'SNL'

"Blooper: You go back in time and audition for the Blue Man Group."

"Pooper: You go back in time and murder Winnie the Pooh."

"Hooper: You go back in time to enter and win a hula-hooping contest."

"Stooper: You go back in time and sit on a stoop."

"Looper: You go back in time and go to the bathroom a lot in England. Oh, so that's already the name of the movie? So you can't do it again? But isn't my idea better? Just you asking British people if you can go to the loo. I am Jason Sudeikis."

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How 'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report' Addressed Romney's "47%" Silliness

There are some political happenings so ridiculous, so tragic, so disgusting that you just can't wait for 11:00 PM Eastern/10 PM Central. The recent Mother Jones videos in which Romney called 47% of this country useless bottom feeders – like crayfish or sea cucumbers, if you will – is such a happening. Above was Colbert's top-hatted take, below watch The Daily Show shit on it from a variety of angles, including a top-hatted John Hodgman angle. READ MORE

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Let Adam Scott Explain the Lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby"


Thank you, Adam. Can you explain a bit more, like the chorus: "Ice ice baby, Vanilla?" I get that it's a play on his name but why would he say "Ice" twice. (Ice-twice, now I'm a rapper.) It is redundant. That's like if I sang the song, "Fox Fox baby, Jesse David." He should change it to "Iced ice baby." "Hey Vanilla, what type of ice are you?" "Oh, iced ice, of course." Below watch more of Adam being the best. READ MORE

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'Totally Biased' Totally Renewed, Totally

FX has extended the order for Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell another seven episodes. This announcement comes a couple days before the final episode of the first order will air. TBWWKB will return on October 11 with the rest of FX's fall Thursday programming. It will move from its current 11 PM spot to 11:30 PM, following the renovated BrandX with Russell Brand. It's perfect timing for Bell to talk about the election then talk about the results of the election then talk about the apocalypse that comes as a result of the results of the election.

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Tom Scharpling Totally Nailed this Aimee Mann Video, Man


That's what's so fun about radio: You have no idea what the host looks like. Who would've guessed Tom Scharpling was such a hunk? He is also super great at shooting shot for shot remakes of 'Til Tuesday videos. Watch the original video for "Voices Carry" after the jump. It's identical but with less glasses and beards. READ MORE

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So Many NBC Thursday Night Previews So Little Time


It's hard to believe that NBC's Thursday night is coming back. What have you've been doing these past nine or so Thursdays? Going to see movies? BORING. Partaking in free wine and cheese tastings at your local wine shop? Blegh, gross. Just sitting watching a blank screen waiting for this time to come? Thursday is that time. Watch another six (yeah, six!) total previews below from Parks, The Office, and Up All Night and try to contain your excitement for two more days. READ MORE

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Stephen Colbert, Rob Lowe, and 'Modern Family' Cast Among 'Good Morning America' Guest Hosts

A few weeks ago Robin Roberts began a leave of absence from Good Morning America in order to focus on her treatment for MDS, a blood and bone marrow disease. Besides the more serious-minded guest hosts – like Barbara Walters and Oprah – ABC will also try to have some funny folks in. Coming up soon are Stephen Colbert and Rob Lowe. Also, they're planning on having a week in which a different member of the Modern Family cast will host each episode. (My DVR is already set for when the French Bulldog hosts.) The comedian (or dog) guests won't have to concern themselves with much news, instead they'll be appearing in the show's more pop culture focused second hour. Either way, the earlier in the day you get to see Colbert, the better.

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Jeff's Dad Is………………………..

James Brolin. Hmmm. OK!!!!!? We've long anticipated the identity of Jeff's dad, so what do we think? Sure, we knew Bill Murray wasn't going to happen but it's hard not to see the casting of Mr. Barbara Streisand as a disappointment. (Though Annie will probably enjoy hearing that an affinity for Jewish chicks runs in the family.) Is this the first strike against the new Community showrunners, Moses Port and David Guarascio? What pop culturally perfect old dude do you think Dan Harmon would've gotten? Ted Danson? Joe Piscopo? Joel McHale in make-up?

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Talking with Crystal (the Monkey) about 'Animal Practice', Her Career, And Much, Much More

With the new TV season just getting under way, we are bombarded with an array of new potential stars of all sizes. The absolute smallest of these stars is Crystal. Historians very often say that a great monkey actor comes only once in a generation and, at this point, it is abundently clear that Crystal is the monkey of our time. Born in 1994, Crystal has been active in Hollywood since the tender age of 3 (or about 6, in human years). Whether it's in Dr. Dolittle, Night at the Museum, Hangover II, Community, or anything else she's been in, she brings a certain humanity – or I guess monkeyity – to every role. Next Wednesday, Animal Hospital is set to debut on NBC and undoubtedly Crystal's career will begin its ascent through the stratosphere. I was lucky to speak with the star to be, on the dawn of her pop culture dominance.

Crystal. It's a pleasure to meet you. How has the press tour been going?

Squeak squeak squeak squeak. Squeak squeak.

Great. So, you started working when you were very young. You were three when you played the part of Baby Monkey in George of the Jungle. How did you avoid the pitfalls so commonly associated with child actors?

Squeak squeak. [pauses for a few seconds] Squeak squeak squeak.

Your next part was in Dr. Dolittle, in which you played the character of Drunk Monkey. Did you find it difficult playing a character with substance abuse issues? 

Squeak squeak squeak squeak. READ MORE

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Parker Posey Teaches You How To Win an Emmy (or at Least Accept One)


I always told friends, "I don't want to become an actor because what happens when I win an Emmy!? I wouldn't know what to say." Now everything's changed, so Breaking Bad, I'm ready for my award winning guest star role whenever you need me. Hopefully, this video also prepared Park-Pose for her eventual acceptance speech when she wins an Emmy for her guest performance on Louie.

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“There's been lots of suggestions for 'Call Me Maybe' jokes, but I don't think they'll make it in there."
Alia Shawkat on the one joke we shouldn't expect in the forth season of Arrested Development. Too bad we all wasted our time making the videos and buying this t-shirt.

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Jon Stewart and Bill O' Reilly to Debate Political Things


On October 6, Jon Stewart and Bill O' Reilly are going to square off on the Internet in The Rumble In the Air-Conditioned Auditorium. Air-conditioned? What wimps. The probably do Vinyasa yoga. They'll be debating for 90 minutes, which is a ton of minutes for two non-politicians to debate. Below watch each of them getting the shit-talking ball rolling. Stewart references all the Irish people he knows and Bill rags on Stewart's use of writers. Who won round 1? READ MORE