Well, those bastards did it. Those magnificent bastards did it. In a world where the desire to make well-crafted, self-aware comedy can turn into a pressure capable of crushing the final product (right? that's not just me?), 30 Rock turned out a truly wonderful conclusion to seven wonderfully bizarre seasons.
Halle: Okay, just finished. Another great episode!
Another season finale, another wedding, another chance for Penny to wallow in her chronic loneliness, then at the last minute find hope and redemption. Only this time, there’s a Skype table! It’s Derek and Erik’s wedding (“Their Brangelina name is Derek…or Erik,” gasps Alex) and their ostentatious, confetti-covered, gladiator-themed love inevitably stirs up issues for everyone. “And that was just the Save The Date!,” Penny marvels. And to think, just last season Derek was posing as Penny’s sham date at Shershow’s nuptials. Dra. Ma. 
When Dave joins Max's gym (An actual exercise gym! The gang can't believe it either!), I must once again wrestle with my complete and total love of the gay stereotype mash-up that is Derek. Could those canary yellow gym shorts be any shorter? Considering that the show has no problem with letting Max be a lovable schlemiel, I guess a little upper man thigh never hurt anyone. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for it…no! Max and Derek together is like eating sweet eye caramels, particularly their slow-motion treadmill routine! "Actually he owes me $900. Drama!," Derek chuckles with Dave about Max. "No, seriously how do I get him to pay me?" Maybe I just need to remember that gay men can truly be whatever they want, whether it be lawyers, congressman, murderers, dentists or life coaches for rich people's pets. It is a real job. 
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I need me some B storylines! I prefer my Happy Endings episodes to be swarming with Bs! You better B-lieve it! Bs and wieners! I guess what I'm saying is, the gang is at their best (in my correct opinion) when they are grappling with individual dilemmas that tie together deliciously at the end, versus having one dominant storyline as they did in last night's episode "Party Of Six." Locking everyone down as a group around a series of tables just made me antsy, ya'll. It also put too much pressure on the writers' one-liners which, while great, didn't pop as much as they would have if they'd been snuggled in between a slow-motion dive or a spastic flail or an uproarious head-first fall down a flight of stairs. Or the image of a bear man riding a unicycle. That still gets me. It always will. 
Last we left the Happy Endings gang, Alex and Dave had just been down each other’s rabbit holes (Eh? Ew? I’m sorry). While Dave has been frantically trying to call her with visions of unplanned pregnancy dancing in his head (“Group baby?” he muses. “Is that a thing?”), Alex has instead chosen to pretend their hot drunken lovemaking never actually happened. All those phone calls? Well, wouldn’t you know it? Alex’s phone line somehow got crossed with an intrepid home-made cough drop salesman. “Next you’ll be telling me Chaz's cough drops aren't laced with ketamine,” she scoffs at Dave’s attempts to discuss their boning. “They are, trust me. I saw God. He's black.” 
On the advice of one Miss Terry Hatcher's blog, Penny decides to quit sugar cold-turkey, no matter what a stupid idiot this makes her seem to the rest of the gang. "My body is a temple; your bodies are stadium urinal troughs," Penny snarls. Despite having just ordered a table keg for one, Alex quickly climbs aboard the health train too, a train which is almost certainly barreling toward tears and starvation and disaster. Oh, and then Mork stops by. Or is it Max? No one has seen him for awhile since he's gotten so busy with his super serious boyfriend Grant, so it's kind of hard to remember. "We're sharing this cute toggle coat," a shivering Max explains, before stopping and listening to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Max is still leery about settling down, despite the fact that Grant won two horses for him to hold, and anyone who will set you up for a great visual gag like that is definitely a keeper. 
Winter has descended on the Happy Endings gang, and you know what that means! Excellent physical comedy! Oh, and Brad and Jane's annual Spring Smackdown. An explosive fight between their friends that emerges every year to usher in the beginning of spring, Penny and Dave look forward to their Smackdown windfall: free steaks and Ice Capades tickets purchased in anger for him, white wine, flowy pants from Bassett by Angela for Angela Bassett and a fleeting sense of superiority over Jane for her. They decide to push Jane and Brad into a fight to hurray things along, but, as Alex warns them, even the smallest change to the yearly event is bound to have dire consequences. "It's like The Butterfly Effect," she predicts. "The one little movie lead to Ashton Kutcher doing a lot of bad movies." 
This is the first Happy Endings episode I can think of that didn't really have a distinct b or c story, and frankly, it could have used one. If only the person working at the newsstand had been Claire Forlani! Alas, it was merely a teenage boy with long hair. As such, the entire episode revolved entirely around the gang’s reaction to Max’s hunky perfect boyfriend-of-two-weeks Grant. It turns out, Grant is so perfect, what with his ideal brow thickness and spot-on vest/tie combination, that normally chillaxed Max is losing his goddamn mind. 
There's only a small window of time (i.e. right now) where it is socially acceptable for me to drool over hot gay kissing on TV before depictions of gay relationships are more commonplace, and our culture rightly recognizes my fervent ogling as the objectifying lechery it is. Until then…HOW ABOUT THAT HOT GAY KISS, HUH? Why every sitcom isn't filled with hot gay kissing is beyond me. NBC, this could be your niche! IT IS THE FINEST NICHE OF ALL! 
When the question is, "How does Happy Endings satisfy me so?," the answer is always "The Honorable Elijah Muhammad." While Jane and Alex experience an intense spiritual connection during a round of Celebrity (though…that "we finish each other's…pizza" joke was pure Arrested Development, yes?) Dave reveals that his dad Big Dave is coming into the city…with a new girlfriend in tow. Was I the last one to realize they are all childhood friends? Or is it just Penny, Jane, Alex and Dave, with Brad and Max joining later? Either way, we learn that Dave's father hates Alex for spilling YooHoo on his imitation sheepskin seat covers 20 years ago, though not for, you know, ripping his son's heart of his chest on their erstwhile wedding day. We also discover that Penny became a woman (well, half of a woman. 1/4?) in Dave's rec room courtesy of cape-clad peer Peter Wong. "I still smile everytime I see wood paneling…or Peter Wong," she says wistfully. 
Love is in the air (along with revenge, sweater smoke and a very stinky hot dog), as the gang groans about the cheesmo factor of rom-coms, for example the brand new film That’s The Way It’s Gotta Be. It's all so hooky, gripes Jane, "Like when a couple is getting married, and then one leaves the other at the…doctor's office." The table grows silent and everyone looks side-eyed at Alex and Dave. Oh, it's good to be back. 
At some point along the long slow crawl of evolution, something terrible happened to the Reynolds’ family tree. Where most people have the mental capacity for empathy, forgiveness and self-reflection, Dee and Dennis Reynolds have only a giant red button labeled Revenge. Thank god for that. Without it, what would this season finale have been? Season 7 has, in my opinion, basically been the Dee and Denni show; the tragedy that continued to unfold at their high school reunion is yet another testament to their insanity. Or maybe it's more like…a promise. 
How It Works
Splitsider Presents is a digital comedy store selling great comedy directly to you. There are no hoops to jump through, and you don't need to hand over your identity. Buying is simple and straightforward; you don't need a credit card or an existing account. You can complete payment and be watching a show in seconds, choosing to pay via either Amazon or Paypal.
Splitsider keeps only 20% of the cost of the purchase after transaction, bandwidth and legal costs, with about 70% going directly to the artist.
You can stream your purchases on whatever device you like, or download them to your computer to keep forever in DRM-free file formats.
Purchase/Playback Info
For $5 you get 5 HD or SD DRM-free downloads and 3 streams, allowing you to watch on your computer or any other device. You can choose to pay via either Amazon or PayPal, and you'll be able to log into the site whenever you want to re-download or stream your purchases.
Need Help?
Buying and watching shows on Splitsider Presents should be simple, quick and undemanding, but if you run into trouble, we have an excellent <A href="http://splitsider.com/store/docs/help">help section and customer service</a> to assist you.
A Comprehensive Guide to the Best Humor Books Ever Written
34