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Rush Limbaugh Sure Is Unhappy That Stephen Colbert Got 'Late Show'


America's racist uncle, Rush Limbaugh, weighed in on the Colbert Late Show news on his show yesterday, and – surprise! – he is none too pleased that a guy who's spent the last few years dismantling everything Rush stands for is getting a bigger stage. Here's his reasoned and hyperbole-free take on it:

CBS has just declared war on the heartland of America. No longer is comedy going to be a covert assault on traditional American values, conservatism. Now it's just wide out in the open. What this hire means is a redefinition of what is funny, and a redefinition of what is comedy. They're blowing up the 11:30 format… they hired a partisan, so-called comedian, to run a comedy show.

A WAR ON THE HEARTLAND. You hear that, Kansas? Get your constitutionally-allowed guns ready, because evil northeastern elitist Stephen Colbert is coming to challenge your way of life. Not like that good ol' conservative David Letterman, who we all know did most of his jokes about how stupid the estate tax is.

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Conan Becomes a Real Texas Deputy


Last night, Conan kicked off his week of shows in Dallas by stepping into some cowboy boots and training to become a real Texas deputy. Apparently becoming a deputy in Texas just involves learning when to shoot teenage kung fu ruffians on a projector screen using video shot in the early 80s. That's justice, Texas style.

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Jon Daly's Red Hot Chili Peppers Super Bowl Prank Is a Thing of Beauty

If you head over to RHCP2014.com, you'll be treated to a stream of the new song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who are performing at the halftime show of the Super Bowl on Sunday. Or at least that's what you'd think you were listening to if you were unfamiliar with Jon Daly and Zach Galafianakis's Pepper Men RHCP fan club from Comedy Bang! Bang! The song is called "Abracadabralifornia", and it sounds so much like an actual Chili Peppers song that it's kind of uncanny. Daly sang an early version of the song on CBB last March (skip to 24:45 to hear it), but this newly recorded version really ups the production value. How many hours did Daly spend honing his perfect Anthony Kiedis? And how many people will be fooled by this? Millions, god willing. Jon Daly is a national treasure.

Here's the song:

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Chelsea Peretti Helped Pete Holmes Go Through His Wardrobe


On last night's Pete Holmes Show, Pete invited Chelsea Peretti to join him for a segment called "Worst Best Friend," in which she comes in and gets to insult him for a few minutes, as she does. Last night's hook was that Pete doesn't dress very well, so Chelsea came in to go through the show's wardrobe with him, resulting in an extended Cosby impression and exactly zero actual fashion advice.

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Brian Is Still Alive, or Something, on 'Family Guy'

Surprise! Family Guy didn't actually kill off one of its main, most popular characters a couple of weeks ago. What many people assumed to be a cynical stunt for ratings turns out to be, well, just that, it seems. It's not clear how Brian will be brought back into the show, but he's set to return as soon as the December 15th episode, which has the synopsis "Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas." I wonder what Stewie could want?? And it's clear that he'll be back for good, as an episode slated for next fall with guest star Maya Rudolph is set to center around Brian falling for her character, an avid runner. It's not clear what this will mean for replacement dog Vinny (voiced by Tony Sirico), which the Griffin's bought to replace the temporarily departed Brian. It's also not clear whether or not we'll be tricked into covering Family Guy again with another stunt like this. We'll see!

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Kevin Hart Is Making a Basketball Comedy with LeBron James

Kevin Hart is set to write and star in Ballers, a comedy in which the diminutive standup will play LeBron James's brother – alongside LeBron. Hart will play "a man who lives in the shadow of his NBA superstar brother (James), but gets a chance to prove himself when he and some pals attend a weekend fantasy basketball camp in Miami."

At this point, LeBron's only acting experience has come in commercials and in ESPN specials, so it'll be interesting to see what he brings to a full-length movie. It's something he's wanted to do for a long time, since being the best basketball player on the planet has apparently gotten a little boring. One thing's for sure, there will be a lot of jokes about how short Hart is (5'3") compared to LeBron (6'8").

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Stephen Colbert Sings the Praises of the Freedom Ship


There are some not-too-realistic sounding plans for a gigantic "Freedom Ship" being made right now, which would essentially be a floating city for rich people to live on in order to dodge taxes in the most flamboyant way possible. On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen walked through the many upsides of living on this floating fortress, including the ever-luxurious "walls."

SNL
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Paul Rudd Fangirls Out in Promos for This Week's 'SNL'


Professional charming man Paul Rudd is hosting SNL this week, and he joined Vanessa Bayer for promos in which they fangirled out over One Direction, wowed us with the magic of Hollywood, and proved their excitement for the upcoming show.

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Will Forte's Ted Turner Vows Revenge on Will Forte


Will Forte was on Conan last night, so naturally we were treated to an appearance by his buffalo-riding Ted Turner, which is always a delight. Ted has it out for Forte, whose offensive impression of him is only softened by his rugged good looks.

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Stephen Colbert Has Some Thoughts on Amazon's Delivery Drones


With the news that Amazon wants to start delivering products via drone within in the next few years, Stephen Colbert decided to help out the mega-retailer with an even bolder idea as to how its customers can get their products ASAP. We'll see if Bezos has the balls to go through with Colbert's plan.

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You Probably Shouldn't Buy Any of Aziz Ansari's Saris


Last night on Conan, Aziz Ansari pitched his new product: Aziz Ansari's Saris. Unsurprisingly for a product that exists solely because of wordplay, it doesn't seem like something you should buy.

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John Mulaney and Pete Holmes Have a Delightful Friendship Full of Insults


Pete Holmes had longtime friend and fellow nice comedian John Mulaney on his show last night, and since they really are such good friends they didn't waste any time in getting to John making fun of Pete for his divorce. It's how basically all of Pete's friendships operate, as I understand it. Below, John accuses Pete of ruining his recent engagement and talks about the many nicknames he has for his new puppy. READ MORE

TV
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'Better Call Saul' Should Be On the Air Within a Year, Will Spend a Lot of Time in Court

This weekend, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan said that he expects the show's spinoff Better Call Saul, starring Bob Odenkirk as Saul Goodman, to be on the air "before next year is done." And showrunner Peter Gould talked a bit about what to expect from the show and how it'll be different from Breaking Bad: Saul will be spending a lot more time in courtrooms. Seeing that the character is a lawyer, that makes sense, although he was never once seen in a courtroom setting in Breaking Bad. He was more of an expert at keeping his clients out of court rather than helping them through the process once in court. But it'll be fun to see how Odenkirk's character behaves in these new settings.

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Will Ferrell Did a North Dakota Local Newscast, Called Some Women's Curling as Ron Burgundy


The Anchorman 2 marketing blitz continued this weekend, with Will Ferrell appearing in character as Ron Burgundy for both an entire North Dakota local news broadcast as well as at a Canadian curling tournament. Ferrell played it pretty straight in ND, reading actual news stories with that silky baritone alongside one of the actual anchors. He showed up wearing a kilt to the curling tournament, so he played that one a little less straight. Check that out below.

Ferrell will also be hosting SportsCenter this Thursday at 6pm on ESPN, and will presumably show up in character in a few dozen more places before the movie is actually released in three weeks. READ MORE