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Review
5

I Watched Jack and Jill So You Don't Have To

by | November 14th, 2011

Over the weekend, I joined legions of idiotic Americans with the absolute worst taste in movies to go see Adam Sandler's latest "movie," Jack and Jill. As I stuffed my face with popcorn, surrounded by slobbering hyperactive children and foul-smelling adults who appeared to be shut-ins who only venture out once a year to catch the latest Sandler flick, I came to two conclusions: 1) I completely agree with every critic that has raked this disaster over the coals. You don't need me to tell you how bad this movie is. It's literally unwatchable, as in there were moments where I had to turn my head away and stop watching because it was so bad. And 2) I kept experiencing an eerie sensation that what I was watching wasn't real.

In one scene, Johnny Depp wears a Justin Bieber shirt at a Lakers game and sits next to Al Pacino, who is dressed like a rabbi. Shaquille O'Neal licks a ham while wearing a long-haired wig. Pacino, playing Don Quixote, attacks a ceiling fan with a spear at a Morton's Steakhouse. Regis Philbin exclaims that he has diarrhea. Norm Macdonald plays a character named Funbucket. Whenever Jill (Sandler in drag) gets upset, she runs into the woods (in the middle of Los Angeles), where Otto, the homeless caddy from Happy Gilmore, lives. A parakeet drinks Jack Daniels. READ MORE

Enter Sandman
0

Looking at Adam Sandler's Weekend Update Characters

by | September 9th, 2011

Welcome to the inaugural column of Enter Sandman: Splitsider Examines the Oeuvre of Adam Sandler! For an entire generation of comedy geeks, the Sandman’s comedy career presents a bit of a conundrum. Like most dudes my age, I can quote Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore more accurately than the Pledge of Allegiance. I often dream of a perfect world where those two unimpeachable classics are the only movies on Sandler’s IMDb page, in the same way that music nerds in my age bracket fantasize that Rivers Cuomo stopped writing songs in 1996. (The same year Happy Gilmore came out! Coincidence?)

But time didn't stop in 1996. Sandler kept working and subsequently created a body of work as funny, weird, uneven and unwieldy as Sinead O'Connor's Twitter account. For example, did you know that Sandler won the Gijón International Film Festival's Best Actor Award for his work in Punch-Drunk Love? Oh, and he was also the producer of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. For every Funny People on his résumé, there's an I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry close behind to cancel it out. In this column, I'll sift through the flotsam and jetsam of Sandler's career. I'll talk to the people who populate his movies, dissect his comedy albums and obscure SNL sketches and try to make sense of You Don't Mess with the Zohan. It might take years, but I'm up for the job. This column is going to be an emotional roller coaster ride, and by the end of it, you'll be tight with Steve Polychronopolous.

If I know the Splitsider demographic well (and as a comedy snob I think that I do), you're probably reading this post on a Motorola RAZR while waiting in line to see Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star. No? That's just me? Well, not only is today the debut of this column and the opening of Bucky Larson (which Sandler co-wrote and produced), it's also the Sandman's 45th birthday. And yes, he does share a birthday with Mario Batali. (Virgos love Crocs!) In honor of his birthday, let’s take a look at a common gateway into Sandler’s comedy: his characters on Weekend Update. READ MORE

sports
1

A Viewer's Guide to the NFL on SNL

by | February 3rd, 2011

Attention comedy nerds! You’ve probably been too busy combing the Internet for the perfect Two and a Half Men outtake to realize that we are smack dab in the middle of Super Bowl Week! This Sunday, the Packers will clash with the Steelers on the gridiron, and most red-blooded Americans will be watching. But if you love Will Forte’s "The Falconer" and have never heard of the Atlanta Falcons, you’d probably prefer to spend Super Bowl Sunday watching a marathon of SNL episodes hosted by NFL superstars. To help navigate the minefield of football players trying their hand at comedy, here’s a handy viewing guide to the best and worst of the NFL on SNL: READ MORE

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